I need to fucking lose this shit. It’s been a year since I took weight/measurements. I don’t think I’ve gained (my clothes still fit) but I haven’t lost either. I fucking hate being fat but I’m ask lazy as shit. I feel like a fucking elephant. I hate the way my clothes look on me. My friend is like 120lb, probably less, so tiny. My lowest adult weight was 128. I want to just stop eating but then I get crabby as fuck. So depressed lately. I hate my life. I’m always tired. I’ve hardly cooked in the last year cuz of my clingy daughter, but I’m gonna TRY to cook more since she’s older.
Got an appointment for a tattoo next week tho so yay…
I haven’t been on tumblr in a while. It makes me feel guilty because I’m not actively doing anything to lose weight. Well, what I ate today:
A cup of coffee with cocoa and creamer
Two raspberry chocolates
Two Russel Stover chocolates
A bunch of sunflower seeds
12 pieces of sushi
Arizona green tea
I promise, when my food stamps get refilled I’m gonna go get some good healthy stuff to eat. My husband just buys crap. Lol I’ve been stuck at the same weight too. I want I get my thyroid checked out but I’m too poor to go to the dr. (When I say I’m too poor…I mean right now our house and utilities cost more than we are making. Yeah, we’re gonna remedy that.)
I think I’m slipping back into the habits I had as a teen that I know are unhealthy but I feel it’s all I can do. There’s no way I’m gonna lose all this by July…or that I could even buy myself those rewards if I made the goals…
Plus I started online classes…
OK, so long time no post.
I haven’t been working out, but I’ve been more active than in the past…I did a few photoshoots in the park a couple weeks ago. I also have a job!!! At a Sears portrait studio. I showed them my photos and they hired me within 24 hours of me applying. I’m a better photographer than the manager who is training me. WIN. xD Anyway, that means I’m also up and on my feet more, so yay there.
I’ve also been drinking healthy(ish) smoothies every day…1 cup spinach (loosely packed), about 1 or 1.5 cups strawberries (plus a small handful of any other fruit that’s in the fridge), 1 cup milk, and honey to taste (about 2 tblsp). I’ve had one every day for the last two weeks except yesterday. lol
Anyway…not much else weight-related going on. I haven’t gained still, so that’s good. Losing would be better though. In general though I’m feeling more positive about myself and life and being comfortable with myself so that’s good too.
this is hilarious i dont give a fuck
guys boobs lol
haha, that last one is hilarious because the original girl looks like 12
OH THE LULZ
Lmao I love the lava shooting boobs!
—Lao Tzu (via artcomingoutofmyfists)
Uhm…actually…depression and anxiety can be caused by the way your brain is wired and therefore not be your fault at all. It’s a nice quote…but as someone who suffers from depression and mild anxiety, I know better! Some people yes, probably are depressed because they’re living in the past…but not all!
This is what happens to me…